Boy: Nay may ulam ba?
Nanay: Tignan mo na lang dyan sa ref, anak.
Boy: Eh wala naman tayong ref, di ba?
Nanay: O, e di wala tayong ulam. Konting common sense naman dyan!
Caloy: Tay ,di ba sabi mo bibigyan mo ko ng P100 pag pumasa ako sa
Math?
Tatay: Oo. Bakit, pumasa ka ba?
Caloy: Gud news, tay! Di ka na gagastos ng P100.
Erap: Kalokohan! Di ako naniniwala! Walang taong ganun kataba!
Loi: San ang balitang yan?
Erap: Dito sa dyaryo. Sabi; "British tourist lost 2,000 pounds daw"!
Nag-aapply si Tomas na security guard...
Interviewer: Ang kailangan namin ay taong laging may suspicious
mind, highly alert, insistent personality, strong sense of hearing
with a killer instinct. Sa tingin mo ba qualified ka?
Tomas: Sa palagay ko po hindi. Pwede po bang yun misis ko nalang ang
mag-apply?
Always remember, when SHE cancels a date, she HAS TO
But....when HE
cancels a date.....he HAS TWO.
Pasyente: magkano ang facelift?
Doktora : complete treatment ay P145,000
Pasyente: mahal!!! ano bang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha
akong bata?
Doktora : heto tsupon, P20 lang!!
ORDER
Customer: waiter! bakit ang tagal ng order ko? ilan ang cook nyo
dito?
Waiter: ay, sir, wala pu kame cuk dito...pipse lang po!!
CUSTOMER
A man was carrying 3 babies in a train. Lady sitting next asked,
"are they your babies?"
Man: "No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer
complaints!"
ACCIDENT
A lawyer driving on a highway notices a crowd in an intersection.
With his urge to get into the thick crowd and see the action, he
shouted, "I'M THE SON OF THE VICTIM."
Upon hearing, the people made way for him to get through.
There he saw, bloody and helpless lying in front of the people...a
pig bumped by a trailer truck!
PINTURA
Erap: Honey, nagpintura ako ng banyo.
Loi: Bakit dalawa ang suot mong jacket, ang init, init !!!
Erap: Sabi kasi sa label, for best results put on 2 coats.
