Author Topic: Pang alis antok  (Read 1295 times)

Sabra

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Pang alis antok
« on: July 22, 2008, 05:28:16 AM »
                                                                           
      Boy:  Nay may ulam ba?                                             
      Nanay: Tignan mo na lang dyan sa ref, anak.                         
      Boy: Eh wala naman tayong ref, di ba?                               
      Nanay: O, e di wala tayong ulam. Konting common sense naman dyan!   
                                                                           
                                                                           
      Caloy: Tay ,di ba sabi mo bibigyan mo ko ng P100 pag pumasa ako sa 
      Math?                                                               
      Tatay: Oo. Bakit, pumasa ka ba?                                     
      Caloy: Gud news, tay! Di ka na gagastos ng P100.                   
                                                                           
      Erap: Kalokohan! Di ako naniniwala! Walang taong ganun kataba!     
      Loi: San ang balitang yan?                                         
      Erap: Dito sa dyaryo. Sabi; "British tourist lost 2,000 pounds daw"!
                                                                           
                                                                                 
                   
      Nag-aapply si Tomas na security guard...                           
      Interviewer: Ang kailangan namin ay taong laging may suspicious     
      mind, highly alert, insistent personality, strong sense of hearing 
      with a killer instinct. Sa tingin mo ba qualified ka?               
      Tomas: Sa palagay ko po hindi. Pwede po bang yun misis ko nalang ang
      mag-apply?                                                         
                                                                           
      Always remember, when SHE cancels a date, she HAS TO
      But....when      HE 
      cancels a date.....he HAS TWO.                                     
                                                                           
      Pasyente: magkano ang facelift?                                     
      Doktora : complete treatment ay P145,000                           
      Pasyente: mahal!!! ano bang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha   
      akong bata?                                                         
      Doktora :  heto tsupon, P20 lang!!                                 
                                                                           
      ORDER                                                               
      Customer: waiter! bakit ang tagal ng order ko? ilan ang cook nyo   
      dito?                                                               
      Waiter: ay, sir, wala pu kame cuk dito...pipse lang po!!           
                                                                           
      CUSTOMER                                                           
      A man was carrying 3 babies in a train. Lady sitting next asked,   
      "are they your babies?"                                             
      Man:  "No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer       
      complaints!"                                                       
                                                                           
      ACCIDENT                                                           
      A lawyer driving on a highway notices a crowd in an intersection.   
      With his urge to get into the thick crowd and see the action, he   
      shouted, "I'M THE SON OF THE VICTIM."                               
      Upon hearing, the people made way for him to get through.           
      There he saw, bloody and helpless lying in front of the people...a 
      pig bumped by a trailer truck!                                     
                                                                           
                                                                           
      PINTURA                                                             
      Erap: Honey, nagpintura ako ng banyo.                               
      Loi: Bakit dalawa ang suot mong jacket, ang init, init !!!         
      Erap: Sabi kasi sa label, for best results put on 2 coats.         
                                                                           
     
…The Filipino, it seems, has lost his soul, his dignity, and his courage. We have come upon a phase of our history when ideals are only a veneer for greed and power, (in public and private affairs) when devotion to duty and dedication to a public trust are to be weighted at all times against private advantages and personal gain, and when loyalties can be traded. …Our government is in the iron grip of venality, its treasury is barren, its resources are wasted, its civil service is slothful and indifferent, its armed forces demoralized and its councils sterile., We are in crisis...

President Ferdinand Edralin Marcos

"Taking into account the disadvantages they have to fight against in terms of arms, equipment and military discipline, without artillery, short of ammunition, powder inferior, shells reloaded until they are defective, they are the bravest men I have ever seen...

General Henry W. Lawton on the Filipino Soldier

"Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it"